Sam Lee in heaven humor

Some old posts speculating about Sam Lee in heaven including a “skit,” something I was known for in Chicago UBF:

Date Posted: 08:19:34 04/01/04 Thu
Author: rsqarchive
Subject: April Fools repost: Samuel Lee in heaven
In reply to: rsqarchive ‘s message, “Statement of apology, repentence
and resignation from Barry” on 07:11:47 04/01/04 Thu

Date Posted: 19:06:46 04/10/02 Wed
Author: Etaoin Shrdlu
Subject: Samuel Lee in Heaven

What did Samuel Lee say to God when he reached Heaven?
“Get out of my chair!

Date Posted: 07:37:53 04/11/02 Thu
Author: Friend
Subject: Re: Samuel Lee in Heaven
In reply to: Etaoin Shrdlu ‘s message, “Samuel Lee in Heaven” on
07:37:53 04/11/02 Thu

To Apostle Paul:
“You have a severe marriage problem!”

Date Posted: 09:08:07 04/11/02 Thu
Author: Yul Brenner
Subject: Re: Samuel Lee in Heaven
In reply to: Friend ‘s message, “Re: Samuel Lee in Heaven” on 09:08:07
04/11/02 Thu

Apostle Paul in a Konglish accent:
“When God’s servant prayed for me, my hair remarkably grew back.”

>To Apostle Paul:
>
>”You have a severe marriage problem!”

Date Posted: 10:21:15 04/11/02 Thu
Author: Gadfly
Subject: Samuel Lee in Hell
In reply to: Yul Brenner ‘s message, “Re: Samuel Lee in Heaven” on
10:21:15 04/11/02 Thu

To Judas: “Why did you give the thirty silver pieces back to the priests? You should have deposited them in a nice CD at Foster Bank.”

[Comment: Judas belongs in heaven as much as Sam Lee does.]

Date Posted: 11:38:16 04/12/02 Fri
Author: retired fellowship leader [Yes, that’s me.]
Subject: Samuel Lee’s vision of heaven
In reply to: Etaoin Shrdlu ‘s message, “Samuel Lee in Heaven” on
11:38:16 04/12/02 Fri

Samuel Lee’s vision of heaven:

Samuel Lee (St. Sam):

(sitting at head of large rectangular, gray table that used to be a ping pong table)
Peter! How many you going to bring this Sunday?!

St. Peter:

(trembling with fear)
Um…um…19?

St. Sam:

Whaaaaat!? You better bring 30 by any means! John! How many you going to bring this Sunday?!

St. John:

(trembling with fear)
Um…15?

St. Sam:

Whaaaat!? You are idle! You daydream too much! You better bring 25 by any means! Any fellowship with less than 10 will be merged with bigger fellowships! Any fellowship leader with less than 10 is a God damn son of bitch and better commit suicide by cutting their stomach in Japanese samurai style! Bartholomew, why you make 2 minus last week!? Defend yourself!

St. Bart:

(boldly)
Jesus is my defender.

St. Sam:

O! Now you have committed blasphemy! You cannot talk back to God’s servant like that. You better go to purgatory! Wesley! (That’s St. Wesley Jun.) Drive him to purgatory and dump him!

The lines uttered by “St. Sam” are based on actual things that Sam Lee said during most fellowship leaders’ meetings every week and every day during conference and UBF X-Mas “registration battles.” During one such meeting in a “registration battle” in the 90s, each fellowship leader was to give to Sam Lee an hour by hour description of their weekend activities for the “registration battle” on a Saturday to demonstrate that they spent all their time trying to get more precious registrations.

 

If their activities did not result in getting some number of conference registrations, Sam Lee would tell them to “defend themselves” during the meeting. At one point Sam Lee told Joe C. to “defend yourself!” Joe C. must have been pretty fed up at this point because he told Sam Lee politely, “Jesus is my defender.” This led to him being berated for “talking back” to “God’s servant” and being given some kind of punishment, probably being driven to Skokie and “dumped” for “Skokie training.” I was there, quietly watching.

But what if Sam Lee does end up in heaven? What if I and his numerous victims should meet him there? Here’s part of a post from an important discussion thread that reflects what I think:

Date Posted: 11:31:18 10/07/02 Mon
Author: Jacob’s hip
Subject: Re: I am crucified with Christ…
In reply to: FYI ‘s message, “Re: I am crucified with Christ…” on
11:31:18 10/07/02 Mon [FYI being a young man firmly stuck in the works righteousness and ends-justify-the-means teachings of UBF]

…

Here’s what I would do if I met Samuel Lee in heaven. I would shed tears of joy and praise God for his incomprehensible grace which is sufficient to cover and wash away all our sins, no matter how great, with the blood of the Lamb if we depend only on the blood of the Lamb. And Samuel Lee and all his victims and all the victims of the UBF system and the thief on the cross next to Jesus would praise God alongside me, and all sins would be remembered no more. This message of grace is why I became a Christian. There is no message like it in all the earth or in all the history of the earth.

Shortly after Sam Lee’s death, I heard some interesting stories from inside UBF. One was that on the day of or after Lee’s death, Sarah Barry went to the YMCA or somewhere and took a nice, relaxing swim. Other stories consisted of people, like my mother, expressing relief that Lee had died. Or the story of Ron Ward who was so battered after being under Lee’s direct daily manipulation for years that he was ready to go “pioneer” another chapter. His death was apparently one that many people–in and out of UBF–were looking forward to. Such is often the case with tyrants. As is also the case with many tyrants, even while many secretly express relief that he is finally dead, UBF tries to put the best face on Lee and continue to pay tribute to him and his twisted legacy.

Speaking of Lee’s twisted legacy, there were some UBF defenders who expressed hope (anonymously, of course) back in 2001 that UBF would naturally undergo some reforms after Lee died. No one knew at that time that his death was imminent. So, these people’s approach to bringing about needed reforms was to wait for someone to die. Isn’t that the approach to reform in places like N. Korea and Cuba, totalitarian regimes? But “wait-for-someone-to-die” has to continue to be their approach because Barry and her successors are committed to continuing in the ways of Sam Lee. Thus far, all my requests to describe specific changes in UBF since Sam Lee’s death have been met with silence.

 

"We’ve changed, not that we needed to change."

My response to UBF’s “we’ve changed” argument (again, an argument that is sometimes made privately, never publicly by UBF leaders):

Date Posted: 12:54:18 08/03/04 Tue
Author: Joe
Subject: “We’ve changed, not that we needed to change.”
In reply to: Bong-Jin Kang ‘s message, “Re: “Things have changed” article?” on 19:46:27 07/29/04 Thu

>As I said on 8th,July’s post, the Korean UBF top [John Jun]
>leader insisted many changes has occured since SL’s
>death.
>
>He requested any present problems in ubf and any
>problems of SB if I want to argue with him further.

John Jun (and other UBF leaders) insist that unspecified things have changed and insist that people talk about the current state of UBF. Does this imply an admission on their part that there were serious problems in past? Of course not. Their trick is to say that “they’ve changed” without ever acknowledging–and at the same time actively minimizing–past wrongdoing. They want their cake and eat it, too. See John Jun’s recent responses to “past” UBF problems.

The same John Jun appears to have recently been “elected” to be the new “General Director” of UBF.

"Why Beat a Dead Horse?"

“Why beat a dead horse? Isn’t Samuel Lee dead? Why focus on a dead man?” Sometimes I am asked such questions. Of course, the same could be asked of UBF which celebrates things such as “UBF Founders Day” and talks about preserving Lee’s “spiritual legacy.” Here’s a RsqUBF discussion forum post about this subject by ChicagoXile that I heartily agree with:

Date Posted: 14:47:55 06/18/03 Wed

Author: ChicagoXile

Subject: Re: I think we are beginning to love to hate

In reply to: Tony Lang ‘s message, “I think we are beginning to love to hate” on 11:04:25 06/17/03 Tue

Tony, let me first say: thanks for your concern. I mean that sincerely.

>Lee damaged a lot of people, and

>in the letters that appear I can see a lot of hurt. I

>have a kind of feeling that this is the sort of thing

>that will make Lee very happy. Lee was a negative

>influence during his life time and I can see that

>this controling power that he had is continuing long

>after his death.

>

>I ask myself what is the best way to insult the memory

>of someone no longer present? I think it is to forget

>them. That is what we should do with Lee. Think of

>all the pleasure he is getting in hell knowing that

>the very thought of him brings out such negative

>emotion in people.

No one gets pleasure out of anything in hell. It’s just eternal torment in utter darkness. So, no, Lee isn’t laughing it up that people are still writing negatively about him.

Also, I don’t think anybody in UBF thinks it’s particularly funny that Lee’s true character continues to be revealed because Lee’s teaching and his family (including Barry) are still central to UBF.

I find that as Lee’s true character and the facts of his evil deeds are revealed, it leads some people in UBF to start questioning. For instance, see http://voy.com/60734/4121.html and http://voy.com/60734/4165.html, both recent posts. I think they start to question why their chapter leaders and shepherds revere Lee so much when there is ample testimony against him. They may start to see that the UBF “reality” is not reality at all. They may start to see and be disturbed by UBF’s “ends justify the means” philosophy as it is applied to Lee’s life by UBF leaders. They may start to see the personality cult within UBF. (As Andrew S. wrote after he left UBF: “I raced back to UBF and read more of the newsletter, and suddenly the articles there seemed very strange. They came into focus. These articles were praising Samuel Lee, UBF’s late chairman, instead of God.”)

People who wake up to the reality of what Lee really was may not necessarily leave UBF. But they might be more careful lest they prop up another Samuel Lee. Or they may decide that they’re not going to submit so easily to UBF’s destructive authoritarianism that continues in Lee’s name. So even those who stay in UBF might be bettered by the Lee reality check that we try to provide.

>Ubf is a worthless organisation, it is going down a

>road that leads to nowhere. My advice is to allow it

>to travel on . In these days of advanced education

>it will not survive.

Unfortunately, level of education has not been proven to protect people from cult involvement. M.D.’s, Ph.D.’s and engineers abound, not just in UBF, but in many other cultic groups and abusive churches.

>We should allow it to commit

>suicide which it most certainly will. It might take a

>little time, but in the not too distant future it will

>not be around.

Unfortunately again, the Moonies and Scientologists aren’t going away. Neither is North Korea. And neither is UBF. While we wait for them to just go away and do nothing, more lives are damaged.